At age eighty-three and counting, Joy has rediscovered the culinary arts.
Last week…
“I bought the most amazing pot roast at the market yesterday!” This would have been said on a Thursday, as Senior Discount Day is Wednesday, and Joy never misses Senior Discount Day.
“I bought potatoes, and carrots, and onions, and I’m going to throw it all in the crock-pot.” Despite my disdain for pot roast, her exuberance was almost contagious.
“Sounds good!”, I lied.
“So, I’m wondering…” Her five-foot-two body began to bounce on the tips of her rubber soled feet. “…what types of herbs should I use?”
Allowing for a moment to wonder why she considered me an expert in cooking herbs, I offered the first thing that came to mind.
“Garlic, of course. Salt, pepper, about a half cup of red wine…” I searched my brain as I stated the obvious.
“…and thyme!”, I announced proudly. “I like thyme with meat.”
“Thyme! Yes!” Joy clapped her diminutive hands for emphasis. “I’m cooking it this weekend, and if it turns out, I’ll send you the recipe!”
This morning…
Grasping both zippered sides of one of a collection of woolen cardigans she purchased during a tour of Slavic countries, Joy hurriedly entered my office.
“The pork chops were delicious!”, she proclaimed.
Spinning my chair to face her, I asked “Pork chops?”
“Oh, yes! Pork chops in the crock pot!” She dropped the sweater to clasp her hands with glee.
“I don’t think I’ve ever cooked pork chops in a crock pot.”, I mused. “I’ve fried them, and baked them, and….”
“Oh, we usually barbeque them!”, Joy interjected with a bounce.
“Yes.”, I agreed. “I’ve grilled them…”
The expression on Joy’s face was familiar to me. It was the same expression Shane wore after scoring the winning run, or making a clutch catch with the sun in his eyes. I knew what to do….
“Tell me about it.”
“It called for mushroom soup!” And, she was off. “I know some people don’t like mushroom soup. But this had just half the sodium of most mushroom soup. And, I left the bouillon cube out. I love bouillon, but have you ever noticed how much sodium is in a bouillon cube?” She paused for just a moment, inhaling deeply for effect. “It’s terrible!”
“I like cream of mushroom soup.”, I offered.
“Well, I did something different.” Ignoring my comment, she leaned in conspiratorially. “I lined the bottom of the crock pot with onions!”
“The recipe didn’t call for onions?”, I asked, with just a hint of dismay.
“No, but they added so much to the dish!”, she crowed proudly.
She went on with her list of ingredients, ending with tapioca.
“Tapioca?” This time my dismay was genuine. “Tapioca, with pork chops? I don’t like tapioca. Doesn’t it have those little balls in it?”
“I know…”, Joy nodded. “I know…Well, if you don’t like tapioca you could use something else. But, it thickened wonderfully!”
I wrestled with the image of pork chops swimming in mushroom-flavored tapioca, while Joy detailed the rest of her meal, and the conversation turned, again, to herbs.
“Dick loves cauliflower.” Her frown said she didn’t. “I put a little thyme on the cauliflower.”
Her forehead wrinkled under steel-hued bangs. “Was it thyme?”
I opened my mouth to help just as the correct herb came to her.
“No, it was basil! Basil is very good with insipid vegetables, you know…”
© Copyright 2007-2009 Stacye Carroll All Rights Reserved
Are We There Yet? 
I love this character, Stacye…”mushroom-flavored tapioca” and “insipid vegetables”
What a hoot!
This was great Stacye. I have made porkchops in the crock pot before and they really are very good. I prefer to grill ’em of course,but the crock is a nice change when it’s 10 below outside. However, I’ve never tried tapioca before. Don’t know that I have the courage to attempt that.
Wonderful chronicling of conversation. Bravo!